How To Save A Life
by LovelyJB
Summary: Can he be saved from his misery? Can that tattered heart still love? Can he… love her? Tifa reflects on where she went wrong and begins to wonder why she came. Based off How To Save A Life by The Fray. ANGST.


**This song really suits Cloud and Tifa's relationship, it's scary!**

**Okay, so this story, it kinda gives off the same vibe as _Case of Tifa_, or at least in my opinion it does. **

**Sorry if the story seems a little rushed.**

* * *

Every day was the same. Same old silence, same old bar. Tifa was constantly watching Cloud come in and out of the bar, and in and out of her life.

He was her best friend, and he knew she worried about him. Life seemed to be so cheap these days, precious family time was replaced by spacing out and work. Tifa knew that was all crucial.

_Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through_

He was sure stubborn about getting his spacing out time. Dreaming day and night about Aerith, replacing reality with fantasy so he could be with her. Tifa _did_ want him to keep holding on and remembering her, but not to the point when he was wasting away and the only thing he was holding onto was her memory.

"I know you love going into your own world sometimes, Cloud," she told him at dinner that day. "I do too, but you're blocking out everything else in the process." She collected the dishes as Marlene and Denzel ran off. Cloud helped, merely shrugging.

"It helps clear my head," he said matter-of-factly. Tifa stopped and shot him a glare.

"Why can't you just talk to me?" she asked. "I'm here to listen. I can help." Cloud smiled weakly.

"I know," he muttered, "I know you're there for me. We can talk." Cloud dusted his hands as Tifa finished clearing the table, staring at him from the kitchen.

"How about we talk now?" she said after a moment. Cloud looked at her, dubious.

"What?" Tifa smiled and walked over to him, sitting down in a chair at the table.

"Just talk about your day," she said, patting the chair in front of her. Cloud stared blankly. "Come on. We never get time to talk like this anymore."

_Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right_

He smiled feebly at her, and very cautiously, he sat down in the seat. He kept his eyes down and away from her, fidgeting with his hands. Tifa was slightly disappointed at this, but continued to smile. She cleared her throat.

"So…" she said brightly. "Anything interesting happen to you today?"

Cloud shook his head slightly.

"Just a few deliveries," he mumbled. "Nothing new." Tifa forced a smile.

"Well," she said. "Today, there was this old lady who came into the bar, and she was reading palms." Tifa laughed, though Cloud still didn't look at her. "I asked her to read mine, and she told me I was a reincarnated warrior princess!" Cloud managed a small smile. He glanced down at his watch, standing up.

"Hey," he said softly. "I'm sorry, there was a delivery I was supposed to make." Tifa's smiled faded. She stood up as well.

"Couldn't you just spare 5 minutes?" she said. Cloud smiled sadly and shook his head. He turned and started walking to the door, grabbing his key. Tifa couldn't stand for it. "Stop!"

_Between the lines of fear and blame  
And you begin to wonder why you came_

Cloud stopped and glanced at her over his shoulder. She looked angry.

"I ask for 5 minutes to socialize with the person I thought was my best friend and you can't even give me that!" Cloud looked away with guilt. "You've been avoiding me more and more every day, I hardly see you anymore, and even if I do it's like I'm just staring at an empty shell." Cloud sighed deeply, turning his back to her.

"Sorry, Tifa," he said. "I'm really running late." He glanced back and smiled, but Tifa didn't want to look at him. "I'll see you tonight?"

Tifa didn't answer. Cloud sighed again and left.

Sure, it wasn't his fault work got in the way sometimes, well, _all_ the time. She just wished he could spare a minute or two to talk, so they could at least remember who they were and what they've been through together. Tifa sat back down on her chair as she heard the Fenrir start up and drive away.

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life_

She worried she would really lose what was left of him one day. Maybe he'd come home and forget completely about how much he meant to her, or vice-versa even. Tifa rubbed her face roughly with her hand.

Was all this even worth it? Would she just lose him anyway?

_Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence_

She had to admit, Cloud was not someone with good social skills. He had layers, plenty of them too. His heart was protected by some kind of unbreakable armour, a kind of barrier that allowed him to supress love and lust, if he felt them at all.

He never let his guard down, not to Tifa at least, but she knew he did when he knew Aerith. Losing the one person he opened up to had scarred his soul for life, so she knew he was careful, she knew he didn't want to get hurt again.

"That's why you're always so lonely," Tifa muttered to the wind. "I keep telling you that, it isn't healthy to push everyone away." She closed her eyes and sighed. "You never listen…"

_Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along_

That night, Cloud did come home like he said. Straight to his room.

Tifa frowned and quietly followed him. He was laying on his bed, just staring at the ceiling. He glanced over at her as she stepped into the room. He smiled, but she didn't.

"You're doing it again," she said, her voice firm but soft. She walked over and sat on the bed at his side. She placed a hand on his arm. "You're spacing out into her world and out of mine." Cloud sat up a little, cupping her face in one hand. Tifa pushed it away and shook her head.

"We can't go on like this," she whispered. She gave his arm a squeeze. "You have to live out this life. If not for you, if not for Aerith, then for me."

_And pray to God he hears you_

Cloud frowned slightly and sat up straight.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said, his tone hard yet clearly hurt. Tifa shifted away on the bed a little, rubbing her shoulders warmly. She sighed.

"When I'm with you," she muttered. "I… I almost want to cry, because you're only almost here. It's as if you only allow a part of you to socialize, to be here with your family. The rest…" She sighed again. "… the rest is with Aerith in heaven." Cloud's expression softened, and he looked away. Tifa bit her lip.

"I know it's hard," she said. "But you can't keep running away, you just can't." She wiped away a silent tear. "I… I need you."

_And pray to God he hears you_

Cloud took a deep breath and stood up from his bed. The only signs of emotion were the flashes of painful sadness and guilt in his eyes.

"I'm always here for you," he told her. "You know that." Tifa closed her eyes and shook her head.

"No you're not," she said firmly. She sighed and stared sadly at him. "No, you're not."

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness_

"You don't think I know how you feel?" she asked in a whisper. Another silent tear. "You don't think I miss her too?"

_And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life_

Cloud closed his eyes. It was too painful a topic to bring up again.

"I need some air," he muttered monotonically. He turned away and walked over to the door out onto the balcony. Tifa watched him, tears in her eyes. She stood up and took a step towards his direction, but stopped.

She didn't know if she could reach him, if she could reach into his soul. He just wouldn't let her in. She didn't know if trying would do any good, because she knew she had never been able to break down that barrier.

But she had to try. Tifa sighed and wiped her eyes. She cautiously walked up behind Cloud, who was staring out the balcony at the night sky. She watched him for a long moment.

After a while, Cloud dropped his gaze and exhaled heavily.

"I'm sorry, Tifa," he said quietly. Tifa tilted her head a little to the side to see his face.

"Don't apologize," she said softly. "_I'm sorry_ are just words." She placed a hand on his back. Cloud sighed again and turned his head to look at her. "I want you to stop riding off on your motorcycle. I want you to stay home." Cloud raised an eyebrow.

"But the deliveries…" Tifa shook her head.

"We'll take a break," she said. "Spend some time together away from work. Away from the kids." The moonlight reflected from her crystal eyes. "Just you and me." She moved closer and reached up to kiss him, but he backed away. Tifa frowned. "What's wrong?" Cloud rubbed the back of his neck nervously and avoided her eyes.

"I don't think we should stop the deliveries," he said. "It'll cost us too much if we take a break." Tifa let out a scoff of disbelief and frustration, tossing up her hands.

"It's costing us too much already!" she exclaimed angrily.

_As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice_

Cloud's expression hardened, a look of anger and impatience overtaking his face.

"What do you want from me, Tifa?" he asked hotly. "You want me to give up the business? Is that what you want?"

"No!" Tifa yelled, her eyes glittering with tears. "I want you to love me!"

Cloud blinked, her answer surprising him. Tifa began to cry.

_Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed_

"What's more important to you?" she asked. "Riding off into your lonely little world… or staying here with me?" She slowly took a step closer to him. "Which is it?"

_He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything_

Cloud shook his head and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Tifa…" She flicked his hand off, not taking her eyes off him.

"Just choose, Cloud…" she whispered tearfully. "Please… I can't take not knowing anymore." She shook her head. "I just can't." She dropped her gaze to the ground and closed her tear-filled eyes.

This was going too far, she never realized it before. It was as if she was playing with fire, and even though she knew she'd be burnt, she still touched the dancing flame, so determined to grab hold of it that she was able to ignore the burning pain, to ignore the agony.

Until now.

Cloud cupped her jaw gently and lifted it up so he could see her face. He ran his thumb across her soft lip, but the tears kept coming. Tifa swallowed hard, seeing the look in his eyes. An ominous look.

"Just say it, Cloud," she muttered feebly. "Please…" The look in his eyes didn't change. Tifa felt fear raise inside her heart. She grabbed his hand. "Just tell me you'll stay…"

He still didn't speak. More tears streamed down her face.

"Choose, damn it!" she sobbed. "Choose!" Cloud looked away grimly, and that was all Tifa needed to know.

_Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

She felt her breath caught in her throat, suppressed anger and rage erupting.

Tifa raised her hand and slapped Cloud hard across the face. She dissolved into tears as she pushed him into the backwall, beating her fists blindly at his chest. Cloud held her back by the shoulders, but he didn't resist. It wouldn't have been any use.

Finally, Tifa stopped. She panted for breath and backed away from him, her eyes on the ground. She turned her back to him and leaned out the balcony, heartbroken. Cloud cautiously approached her.

"Tifa…" She squeezed shut her eyes and shook her head hard. He stopped, afraid to come any closer.

"Get out…" she muttered softly. Cloud reached and placed his hand on her back, but she quickly flicked it off.

"Tifa…"

"I said get out," she said much more harshly. "Now."

Cloud watched her concernedly for a moment, but then sighed. He turned around to leave, shooting one last glance at Tifa. She still didn't move.

"Tell the kids," he said. "And Barret. Tell them I'm sorry." She didn't respond. Cloud sighed again, and started walking away.

Away from her, and away from her life.

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness_

That was the last time she saw him.

Tifa regretted the rushed choices she pressed onto him, because she already knew what his answers would have been. But it didn't matter, none of it mattered.

He didn't choose her, he chose his freedom.

He chose to ride away with the wind to the ends of the Earth, to love Aerith, a spirit that helped free his encaged soul so many years ago. A spirit he could never forget.

Tifa wondered if she would see him again, walking through that door with a beautiful smile on his face. She wondered if she would ever understand him, if she would ever become the person he wanted, the person he could love.

She would have eternity to figure it out, but right now… she didn't know.

She just didn't know.

_And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life_


End file.
